tomato
A nice person told me I am inspirational and a nice lady. I wanted to say, “Actually I’m smug and self-satisfied but I guess you say tomato and I say toe-mah-toe. And do you want to know why I will...
View ArticleHunting is hella awkward (this whole thing is tmi)
We went from having a weekend of lots of planned sluttery to only having sex together. This is rather hilarious, I think. But Noah was approached on okcupid. He’s making a date. I love masturbating...
View ArticleWorking is fun.
I don’t know what I was thinking. How did I think I would get through over-night without Noah and the kids yesterday? Ha. I came home for bed-time. I called and told Noah to let the kids stay up a bit...
View ArticleFrom Twitter
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn” Noah, Shanna, Calli, Kira, Taylor. I must be made entirely of awesome. And why aren’t I better at giving massage? It...
View ArticleI think we’re funny.
At breakfast the other day Noah observed, “I don’t worry about your usage of medication because you are way more hostile about being denied Earl Grey.” Apparently I don’t flip people off just because I...
View ArticleWho am I?
Today as I get dressed I stopped to think. I’m meeting my “niece” and my “nephew” today. One of them for the first time and one for the second time. Wow. What do I want to wear? Who do I want to be in...
View ArticleI’m gross
Just to warn you, if I say that we can’t do something because of diarrhea and your response is, “Oh poo!” I am going to start the poop jokes. You went there first. Just sayin’.
View ArticleMorning ditty
Oh heating pad, oh heating pad where have you been all my life. Your blue cover speaks of tranquility. Your heat improves my mobility. Oh heating pad, oh heating pad where have you been all my life.
View ArticlePervy duckies
This is too funny. I have to write this down. So my wonderful friend was telling me that he feels guilty because there isn’t much he can do for me. He said he feels like he is letting me down as a...
View ArticleWhiplash
I don’t know about you all, but I am absolutely baffled by where in the fuck my life will go next. Anyone want to make any guesses? I’m getting a ridiculous number of hits. What do you think? What...
View Articlequoteable
I said to Noah: “Being married to me is like a graduate studies course that just never ends.” He said: “Yeah, and just like in grad school the thesis advisor never shows up.”
View ArticleI never wanted to be a geek.
I’ve had two frankly hilarious interactions lately that fall into “Oh my god I’m a geek” and I have mixed feelings about that. First is the fact that Noah was telling me about old programmers and new...
View Articlesilly…
I am almost done with Christmas shopping and I seriously don’t want to still be doing this shit come November. Not this fucking year. I just… don’t fucking want to. So I’m doing the annual “What the...
View ArticleThe caucasian whisperer
Many of my neighbors are immigrants and I’m kind of hyper friendly so I introduce myself as soon as they move to the neighborhood. This means that they come and knock on my door when they have...
View ArticleAn evil kind of magic.
I don’t know what it is… but this child likes to empty the pipes in big volleys. We hear a big poop (she’s so loud) and we wait 1-5 minutes before getting up to go to the bathroom because there is...
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